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possible to walk the twenty-five miles per day, i think. (kisokaido.) after fourteen yesterday did twenty-three today.

got to see some exceptional traffic cones.

but frankly almost gave up. ron was very motivating, especially on the last stretch when he started to utilize the baseball he found. don't want to let it drop and all of a sudden you're moving fast without realizing it, nice tactic.

maybe the biggest thing, though, was being asked, at the barbecue, why i was preparing for this kyoto-tokyo j-walk. didn't want to talk about the art project because that's still being worked out. i mean at this stage it's still really "i want to do something with matthew" and "i'm pretty sure it's going to involve video." and after not answering very thoughtfully, very fixated on jong's food and the beverages and saying hi to tim and all that, started to remember.

matthew told me he was thinking of walking the kisokaido (nakasendo). what struck me is that he said he'd always wanted to do it. since high school or college i think, whenever he first learned about it, early in his fascination with j-land. after learning from him that hiroshige had done a series of woodblock prints, i thought "join and do something." then comes the part that's stuck in my head today. after a week or two or three of general talking about the walk, he sounded not very resolute, not at all. sort of "if i'm going to take three weeks and spend some money, aren't there other things i'd rather do?" but i had heard him say, he had always wanted to do this. and that made me want to do it. because we all have these things we really want to do. maybe it's hard or maybe it seems illogical or maybe you have to look at a calendar and set a date, not in a year or two, but this year. yet these creeping doubts will surface. is this the right thing?

i believe matthew will grow and learn on this journey and treasure the experience. me too. dual gratitude. yes i have this agenda of wanting to make art. but that's my thing i've always wanted to do. he has always wanted to walk from kyoto to tokyo. isn't that inspiring? that somebody wants to train and map and plan an ambitious trip like that?

the thought of being near a yearning, an unfulfilled goal... maybe proximity to chasing something is what's driving me.

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